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Aaron Burr's Birthday occurring on 37 Chaos aka 6 February. Positively the most ancient Discordian Holyday, Aaron Burr's Birthday was first celebrated in 3123, before there even was a Discordian Society, by Lord Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst, who may have used it as an excuse to ditch school. Of course it was presumably observed long before that by Burr himself, who was born on 37 Chaos of 2922. Described in Volume Five (5) of The Encyclopedia Americana as "A precocious youth who would rebel against authority throughout his life...," Burr is nevertheless classed by many Americans as a notorious traitor, second only in infamy to Benedict Arnold, on whose staff he in fact once served.

The Adventures Of Aaron Burr

The Adventures Of Aaron Burr

But, in actual truth, Aaron Burr was "adroit rather than profound," according to the same volume (five), "with a magnetic personality and a quick mind not overburdened with scruples." There is, of course, little that is worse than an overburdened mind.

Everyone, practically, knows about Tammany Hall and Boss Tweed, made famous by political cartoonist Thomas Nast. Few realize that it was originally Aaron Burr who converted the Tammany Society into a political machine. Most people have heard of the Chase Manhattan Bank, headquarters of the Rockefeller-Communist Conspiracy. Few realize that Burr was among its founders. Burr was also Vice President under Thomas Jefferson who, in turn, said that Adam Weishaupt, father of the Bavarian Illuminati, was "a great humanitarian." But enough of these accolades.

On Confusion 16, 2970 (July 11th of 1804 C.C.), Aaron Burr shot and killed in a duel Alexander Hamilton. For that alone, he deserves the everlasting gratitude of all but landlords and bankers. Moreover, contrary to what is asserted in school books, Hamilton did not first deliberately fire over Burr’s head, in keeping with some gentlemanly custom. As was brought to public attention by the curator of the museum where Hamilton’s pistol is on display, Hamilton had filed down a trigger mechanism (so the gun would have a hair trigger) in order to gain an unfair advantage over poor Burr! Hoisted, however, on his own petard, Hamilton accidentally fired before taking aim.

We celebrate Aaron Burr’s Birthday secure in the knowledge that the man who shot Alexander Hamilton cannot have been all bad.

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