Discordian Wiki

The Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavaria are a secret organization.


  1. They are NOT called the Illuminati. The Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavaria are mortal enemies of the Illuminati 🐰
  2. They are younger than time itself.
  3. Ellistea Remy LeBeau, notorious San Francisco Jurema smuggler, a distinguished and revered follower of Aneris, founded the Transylvanian Illuminati in the 20th century (Arcturian).
  4. Illuminati, like crowder peas, are mortal enemies of Pleiadian Discordians everywhere.
    1. The Illuminati do not do do not do stop that or we'll ZZZZZPPTTTT!!!!! do not (not) exist.
  5. The Bavarian Illuminati are an Antinomian cabal.
  6. Everything is known about the Illuminati.
  7. American currency is not a bunny.
  8. The Illuminati must be real, because the word itself is accepted by the spellchecker in Firefox.
    1. Firefox doesn't think Discordian is a word.
    2. It also does not acknowledge fnord.
    3. Heck, even spellchecker makes it freak right out.
  9. The Illuminatus! Trilogy is not a true book about the Illuminati. It's a tiger. Because tigers are neat.
  10. They feature significantly on the List of things that are letting the terrorists win.
  11. The Pentagon is a pentagon for a reason.
  12. They have nothing to do with controlling the near-Earth satellite Nibiru Station.
  13. Robert Anton Wilson never wrote a nonfiction word in his entire career.
  14. Near the end of his life, Richard Metzger interviewed Robert Anton Wilson and asked him about the Illuminati. His answer was: "Usually when people ask me that question, I give them some kind of a put-on, but I can't think of a good and original put-on that I haven't done several times before. So I'll tell you the truth, for once. After investigating the Illuminati and their critics for the last 30 years, I think the Illuminati was a short lived society of free thinkers and democratic reformers that formed a secret society within Freemasonry, using Freemasonry as a cover so they could plot to overthrow all the kings in Europe and the Pope. I'm very happy that they succeeded in overthrowing all the kings, I just wish that they had completed the job and gotten rid of the Royal family in England too, but they did pretty well on the continent. I'm sorry they haven't finished off the Pope yet, either, but I think they're still working on the project and I wish them luck."
    ---->Why, if the Illuminati were a short lived Secret Society, would he be wishing them (in the present tense) luck to kill off the Pope in 1997(the year he died)???? Beats me, we arrived in looney tune land when we first contacted Anton LaVey in 1969
  15. The Illuminati are coming so be prepared.
  16. This page was written by Joe Isuzu.