In real life, Andye Edgar passed away on March 8, 2022. That was less than two months after he approved this article and supplied the photos for it. He was a very nice man and is sorely missed.
Andye Edgar is secretly a shapeshifting Canadian super rock star who can turn into any animal he chooses. His identity is not secret, but his super persona is.
Andye was born in Caernarfon, a part of Wales, Ontario, which is a ghost town in California. He was afraid of the ghosts, so he moved to Cherry Valley, which is a city in California.
One day when he was three years old, he was back in Caernarfon visiting his Aunt Mariah. There, on her dining room table, he saw something totally terrifying. It was a flat-ended sphere with a pale yellow interior and a coat, or rind, of red paraffin wax. An edam cheese! The frightened boy wished he were a mouse so he could eat the cheese instead of the cheese edam him. But transforming into a mouse was of course impossible. So instead, he changed into a cat.
He then wished the cheese would turn into a mouse so he could chase it away, but this did not happen. So he ran away.
He hadn't run far, no more than 3 or 4 thousand kilometers, when he ran into a young boy who was with friends. The boy said he saw the cat first, and it was "first come, first serve." The boy was named Leif Erikson Fuscum (his last name should have been spelled "Firstcome," but cat-catching boys aren't always great spellers).
The boy adopted him, and kept him as a pet. Choosing a typical, common cat name, the boy called his new pet, "Andye Edgar." But the boy misspelled his new pet's first name. It was supposed to be spelled "Wunderkatzen."
When Andye was a teenager, he saw something he had never seen before--another cat! The cat's name was Catus Valerius Catullus, but he told Andye everybody called him "Mogg." Mogg had some other feline friends, and, with Andye, they formed a band called Amoggery. But everybody called the cat band The Yowlers. During the next 12 months, Mogg proved to be very finicky about his band mates. In just 12 months, the band went through 13 members. But it was still successful that year, with 5,000 concerts. In one year. These were in cities all over. All over Toronto. They performed in Toronto, Illinois; Toronto, Iowa; Toronto, Kansas; Toronto, Missouri; Toronto, Ohio; and Toronto, South Dakota.
The band received mixed reviews. "The band was meowelous. I was so mesmerized, I went catatonic," wrote Gotham's Selina Kyle for the Gotham Gazette. But they received a much less favorable review from the Daily Planet. "Those singing cats sound worse than farts smell," said guest reviewer Krypto Kent, who usually reviewed for the Newfoundland Daily Bugle (Newfoundland being a city in New Jersey.)
Ironically enough, the negative review inspired the band's one big hit. This was the song "Newfoundland Haiku" with lyrics translated by Edgar from the original by Bashto Screech:
Geese farts in a sleet storm, eh?
Need more friggin' cod.
~ Bashto Screech c. 1650 F
This song led to the band being scheduled to play their biggest concert ever. This would be in Toronto, Indiana, which was a ghost town. But, still afraid of ghosts, Andye retreated from the band, and ran off, running backwards. For 3 or 4 thousand kilometers. He ended up back in Caernarfon.
Transformation and second music career
Andye found himself back at the home of his Aunt Mariah. Thinking him a real cat, she adopted him.
His aunt had several cats, and took good care of them. But one day she brought home some cheddar cheese...and the cats all ran away.
After running for 3 or 4 thousand kilometers, they stopped and settled in Ontario. This was a city in Wisconsin. With no money to buy cat food, Andye decided they should try to earn a living by forming a band. With Andye as lead singer, they called themselves The Cats of Aunt Mariah. But everybody called them The Cool Cats. Which was odd, because the cheese had frightened them all into becoming humans. Mogg, still in cat form, joined them, and became their band manager. Andye and Moog soon co-invented what became the band's signature instrument, the Mogg synthesizer.
During the next 12 years, band manager Mogg proved to be very finicky about the band members. The band went through 130 members. But it was still successful, with 50,000 concerts. In 12 years.
The band produced nine albums. These include Cats on a Hot Tin Roof, Catatonica, Pussy Tales, 23 Pussies of Eris, Life in a Cat Box, and Sixty-Nine Lives. Their hit songs include "Pussy Galore," "Feline Funk," "CompliCATed," "Cat Food," "Cat Scratch Fever," and "My Girl's Pussy." But their biggest hit was "Andye's Mewsical Cat."
Spinoff musical groups include Katzenjammer Kids, Cheshire Cheese Cats, Mogg Mayhem, and Miley Cyrus' Cats. Rival bands include Dogs of War, Three Dog Night, Dog Belly Band (later called Dog Belly), Dr. Dog, and Modest Mouse (which produced the mocking hit "Also I Like Cheese.")
One day, Mogg fired Andye. From a cannon. Andye flew for 3 or 4 thousand kilometers, and ended up in Montreal, which was a city in Missouri.
Amazingly, Andye discovered that, after flying so far, he had changed into a crow! He soon learned how to change into other animals. A bear. An elephant. A g'joob.
Having dealt for 13 years with fans, groupies, publicists, and hotel managers, Andye was no longer afraid of anything. Not even Swiss cheese.
Following in the paw prints of other animalistic super stars turned super heroes, Andye Edgar decided to become the animal shape-shifting superhero (CENSORED). Now, with his faithful companion Catus Valerius Catullus (secret mundane identity "Mogg"), he fights a never-ending battle for truth, justice, and the Canadian way! (Canada being a city in Kansas. Where the Prime Minister lives).
Andye's known secret personas include: