An apostle, from Classical Greek ἀπόστολος (apóstolos), meaning "one who is sent away", is a messenger and ambassador. The purpose of such "sending away" is to convey messages, and thus "messenger" is a common alternative translation. The term may be used metaphorically in various contexts, but is mostly found used specifically for early associates of the founder of a religion, who were important in spreading her teachings. The word in this sense derives from Proto-Discordian Greek and was used for the original Five Apostles of Eris, as well as a wider group of Early Discordian figures including Malaclypse the Younger and Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst. Some other religions use the term for comparable figures in their history. The adjective "apostolic" is claimed as a continuing characteristic by many Discordian cabals, and so used far more widely, as in the official name for the Greco-Roman Discordian Papacy which is the Apostolic Semen.
Five Apostles of Eris[edit | edit source]
According to Principia Discordia and other Discordian sources, the Five Apostles of Eris are:
- HUNG MUNG (Holyday Mungday, 5 Chaos or 5 January)
- DR. VAN VAN MOJO or PATAMUNZO LINGANANDA (Holyday Mojoday, 5 Disco or 19 March)
- SRI SYADASTI SYADAVAKTAVYA SYADASTI SYANNASTI SYADASTI CAVAKTAVYASCA SYADASTI SYANNASTI SYADAVATAVYASCA SYADASTI SYANNASTI SYADAVAKTAVYASCA commonly called just SRI SYADASTI or ST. GULIK THE STONED or FEARLESS FRED (Holyday Syaday, 5 Confusion or 31 May)
- ZARATHUD THE INCORRIGIBLE, sometimes called ZARATHUD THE STAUNCH (Holyday Zaraday, 5 Bureaucracy or 12 August)
- THE ELDER MALACLYPSE (Holyday Maladay, 5 Aftermath or 24 October)
Earlier Versions of the Five Apostles[edit | edit source]
In an earlier version of the Principia Discordia, the following is said about the Five Apostles:
The Five Apostles of Eris are: Controvite, Confusium, Krishna Argumentium, Discordeaux (Jean the Eristentialist), Eristotal, and Malaclypse (The Elder).
If you wish to know more about the Five Apostles, their history and importance: read Book II of The Honest Book of Truth, which is entitled THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO OMAR. You will find it very enlightening (if you can find it at all).
It is unclear how these early Five Apostles are related to the later Five Apostles, apart from Mal-1, who is the only one to appear in both lists. It is also noteworthy that there are six early Five Apostles, which is indicating either a similar blurring as in the case of St. Gulik / Sri Syadasti, schisms as in the case of Patamunzo Lingananda / Dr. Van Van Mojo, or Mal-2s disability to count.
Latter Saint Daze movement[edit | edit source]
In the Latter Saint Daze or LSD movement, an Apostle is a "special witness of the name of Eris who is sent to teach the principles of nonsense as salvation to others." In many LSD churches, an Apostle is a priesthood office of high authority within the cult hierarchy. In many cabals, apostles may be members of the Quorum of the Five Apostles of the church. In most LSD churches, modern-day apostles are considered to have the same status and authority as the Five Apostles, and to see visions that often involve flying, chaos magick, and people's faces melting off.