Discordian Wiki
Advertisement
Daniel Falkenbach by Adam Genisis

Daniel Falkenbach. (Authentic photo shot on Planet Eris which is a studio in North Hollywood.)

Daniel Falkenbach is a Discordian-SubGenius Conspiracy Theorist (DiSuCoTheo).

Personal life[]

Daniel was born in Buffalo, New York, home of the “great replacement” conspiracy theory. He was allegedly born to his mother and father, but that could be nothing more than a conspiracy theory. He may actually be a clone of a Flat Earth SubGenius.

Daniel is not married. But his wife doesn't know that.

Education[]

As "Danny," he was active as a kid in Shamlicht Kids Club while attending Springfield Elementary School.

When his family moved to Whittier, California, he studied slack as an acolyte through the local Church of the SubGenius. He later attended and earned a degree at the Esalen Institute, a leading center for exploring human potential. Still later he became an Earthship Academy Graduate at Earthship Biotecture.

He moved to Taos, New Mexico, and studied at Northern New Mexico University-Roswell. There he realized "Taos" is just one letter away from "Kaos," And New Mexico is an independent nation located sound of the New World and north of Mexico, which is where it gets its name.

Professions[]

Stand up to Science

While attending college, he worked as a used book dealer at New York International Antiquarian Book Fair. He largely sold books bought at The Macaroni and Cheese Club. aka Book Hill. of Dodge City. After doing that for five year, he discovered it was not economically viable to buy new books, then wear them out so they could be sold as used books. He realized that him being a used book dealer didn't mean he was a dealer of used books, but that he was a book dealer being used.

He discovered the American Bookshillers Association was an association of American book shills. They were convincing booksellers across the nation to buy new books, wear them out, then sell them used. So the ABA could get rich. The ABA then invested the money in political campaigns to make them even richer.

Falkenbach spread the word of his new used conspiracy theory. That by becoming a political speaker at Main Stream Antagonist.

One day he was flying to speak in Australia at Mossy Nipple Bend. But he noticed something odd about the plane he was riding in, the Ground Zero. It wasn't flying down in a curve, but was flying in a flat circle. But he couldn't verify it.

So he bribed the stewardess with a copy of Principia Discordia, Apocrypha Discordia, Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia, Et Cetera Discordia, Book of Eris, and The Book of the SubGenius--all used. This got him into the plane's cockpit. From there he could see the plane had never actually left the ground. The above-the-ground view the passengers thought they saw through their windows was actually scenes from the movie Airplane!

He tried spreading the message by becoming an authentic speaker at Social Entrepreneur. But people didn't believe his message, instead thinking he was a stand-up comedian. So he left public speaking to become a geophysicist at Ethereal Exposition and journalist for NASA Earth.

Honors and Dishonors[]

He was honored by being named a Saint Second Class at Discordianism.

He was dishonored by being named a Reverend and Pope at The Church of the SubGenius.

Quotes[]

"Lord help me help others." (26 May 2010)

"Use me as your scapegoat, it won't work...it won't last." (26 May 2011)

"i LOVE to co-exist, co-create with everyone, I've been VERY selfish lately but not selfish in a negative way. i take care of myself and my desires and people see how I Am. And they love me for it, so in reality they are forced to learn about and love themselves because they see the love that I Am." (27 May 2011)

"I decided yesterday I will have kids. Didn't care until yesterday. As I will it. So mote it be." (27 May 2024)

External links[]

Advertisement