Discordian Wiki


The Letter[]

Dear Abbot:

I am 8 colors tall. Some of the voices in my head say that I am in a cult.

Papa says,"If we can EXULT upon OUR LAWN, we are not."

Please tell me the truth; Are we a cult?

Chaste Narcissist

The Response[]

Are we a cult? Oh, Chaste Narcissist, such worry which surrounds that question! A cult engenders such fear in our modern world. But one need only look to the ancient origins and intent of the word's originators. The ancient Romans had a word, cultus, which has been translated to mean the care owed to deities, gods, goddesses, cosmic powers and their assorted buildings, temples, shrine, churches, bowling alleys and huts. In that naming, Discordia, who is Eris, maybe, was certainly owed such care, though in modern times, bowling alleys predominate.

In a modern context, new associations have evolved, mutated or transmuted into a slightly skewed vision of what makes up a cult. Despair not, Chaste Narcissist! Such shifting of paradigms is part and parcel of the Mystery of Our Lady of Chaos. Within her loving arms, all things change, even "permanent" things. So in its new context, how can a person judge the cult-ness of Discordians?

Does it not seem reasonable, Chaste Narcissist, that those in a cult come together, whereas Discordians are know with the iron clad certainty of Absolute Belief, to come apart together. Or equally valid, come together apart. Discordians are Popes! They are not under the authority of any authority! Why would such Blessed and Powerful Individuals come together for any lasting purpose other than that which they have chosen at that Precise Moment!

Eris Antikensammlung Berlin F1775

It is said that those within a cult are attracted to a person of great charisma. One need only look to the charisma of Eris. From posterity comes the Attic Plate which is the sole representation of Her that history will show. Oh, Chaste Narcissist, even with the extra tolerance that true Discordians hold within their hearts for all who have been touched by Her, one cannot help but be amazed as to the non-charismatic representation of Her, Chaos Unbound! That is one ugly ancient woman! Now to be sure, modern depictions show an ultra-sleek and sexy woman of action, a consensus, at least for the time being, of Papal Consciousness of how She might appear.

Eris nurbldoff ksc

But Eris is the Goddess of Chaos, and in no way tied solely to mankind or womankind. How might an ideal representation of Eris appear to say, a slug. That would be one ugly slug-goddess! At least to us.

So uncharismatic at the outset, one must look to those who associate themselves with Her to perhaps glean further truth. Maybe it's just me, but all of you look strange and act even stranger. I enjoy, hate, could care less what you do in your pursuit of your ideal of Discord. Indeed Chaste Narcissist, most Discordians are self-sufficient. Barely able to self-direct, many lack that Charismatic Quality that engenders the blind, unthinking respect which allows the unscrupulous to dictate in absolute terms the rules of engagement. Not for us the rules which control. We will never tell you who to listen to, who to follow, who to shun. We will not isolate you from your family, nor keep you from acting from your own enlightened self-interest. We associate side by side. Fascinated by our own delusions, yet ever mindful of the delightful nature of the delusions of others, we truly need no common ground, shared aim, hidden agenda. Easily amused and easily swayed, Discordians will typically participate….or not upon our own recognizance.

So Chaste Narcissist, rest assured that in the modern sense, we are not a cult….unless we want to be. Within the “classic” sense, we all tend and care for our delusions, beliefs, hopes, fears and aspirations. These ethereal intangibles are in essence the bedrock of our Discordianism and if looked upon in the right angle, the bowling alley of our pins.

Blessed Be Chaste Narcissist! Go and Cult no more! Unless you want to.


Abbey of the Variegated Tropes