See also Ivan Stang (Reverend)
Zandik Ivan Stang, born Yəhôḥānān Shtang but more formally known as Zandik Hakham Kohen Mekubbal Melamed tinokot Sandek Ivan Stang, is the co-founder of ייִדן פֿאַר באָב (Jews for "Bob").
Personal life[]
Stang was born in 1942 in Spain to Sirach and Lilith Stang, who were Ashkenazic Jews. The second oldest of five children, he was born during his parents flight to Spain to avoid persecution of Jews in Nazi Europe. He is a descendant of Aaron brother of Moses (making him a Kohen) and a direct descendant of the prophet Jeremiah. On the 8th day after his birth, he was given the name טאַנג משה יוחנ (John Moses Stang). As was traditional, he began learning scripture at the age of 5. At his bar mitzvah on his 13th birthday, he declared his name to be Ivan Moses Stang in honor of one of his Russian ancestors who was killed in one of the הסופות בנגב; ("Storms in the South" or "pogroms") in the late 19th century ("Ivan" is the Slavik form of John).
In the year 2005 (2 times 23 years after the Discordian renewal), Ivan acquired the concubine Isabella MacRae. He hasn't been the same since. But in a good way.
Religious life[]
Before he became a bar mitzvah, he had been secretly reading the Alphabetum Siracidis, Othijoth ben Sira (Alphabet of ben Sirach). As a result, he became fascinated by Kabbalah. He was a (מְקוּבָּל) (Mekubbal), a traditional Kabbalist.
He became a school teacher (traditional term Melamed tinokot), and assisted at a brit milah (circumcision ceremony), becoming a סנדק, "companion of child", Sandek). He was very honored and embarrassed in his later years to be called a Hakham (wise man).
SubGenius[]
In spite of his years of learning and teaching, he became dissatisfied and disillusioned. He began studying Zoroastrianism. But his beliefs were too unconventional, and he was named a Zandik (heretic). This term looks very similar to Tzadik or Zadik, in Jewish belief one of 36 anonymous righteous people who keep the earth from being destroyed.
He saw an article about another Ivan Stang, the one who had co-founded the SubGenius Foundation. He studied this, and learned that the Church of the SubGenius was the true religion. He registered a different name with the Church to avoid confusion. Years later, he realized that to a SubGenius confusion was kosher, So on 13 Tishrei 5776, he publicly acknowledged that he was a SubGenius Ivan Stang.
He later co-founded the Jewish SubGenius clench ייִדן_פֿאַר_באָב (Jews for "Bob") with Isabella MacRae.
Discordian[]
One day after giving a spiel on the virtues of "Bob," in the congregation he saw a shiksa who had a nice tuches. Feeling full of chutzpah and thinking "What would 'Bob' do?", he slapped her tuches and asked for a kush. But instead of giving him a kiss, she slapped him back and knocked him to the ground, saying, "Beser a patsh fun a khokhem eyder a kush fun a nar." (Better a slap from a sage than a kiss from a fool. ) Then she took a bite from a גאָלדען עפּל. He then knew she was עריס דיסקאָרדיאַ. He didn't know whether he should fall down and worship her. But as he'd already fallen down, he figured, "Why not?" So he looked up, and as Eris was wearing a kosher kilt...he instantly became a Discordian. Later checking with "Bob," "Bob" said he didn't mind.