KGB3

The Kooky Kallisti Kristian Go-Go Girl Bongo Broad Band aka KKKGGGBBB or KGB³ is a well-known girl pop band and disabled dance music project created by Adam Gorightly in America in the early 21st century. The group's debut album, The Art of Legs, achieved international success and earned them a Gammy Award for Best New Disabled Artist. Their sophomore album, Psychedelic Secret Agent, reached number 5 on the American charts. Their success turned to infamy when the Gammy Award was withdrawn after New Yeti Times food and entertainment columnist Chuck E. Cheetah revealed that the five girls were not only not physically disabled but were lip synching.

Origin

In 2001, Adam Gorightly formed and managed the Kooky Kallisti Kristian Go-Go Girl Bongo Broad Band which was briefly called KKK-GGG-BBB before reaching it's usual nickname of KGB³. The group consisted of five Discordian American Princesses, Mildley Sirius, Linseed "Flax" Lowhand, Katy Puberty, Vanessa Huggies, and Breakwind Shears. Gorightly claimed the girls all sang in spite of having the physical disability of no singing talent.

"With the blessings of computer audio technology, even the vocally challenged can sing lead on a hit song," said Gorightly.

The Art of Legs

Cover for The Art of Legs. Fans debated for years over which girl's legs were featured until it was revealed in 2015 that the legs belonged to Adam Gorightly.

The group's first album, The Art of Legs, was released in 2002 CE. It gave the group instant recognition. On the American charts, it climaxed at number seven, and won a Gammy Award for Best New Disabled Artist. The album features five songs which were listed on either Christian or Pop Top 40 charts. These are "Go Go God," '"Kooky for Christ," "Jiggling for Jesus," "Why Do We Call Ourselves a Bongo Band when We Don't Play Bongos," and "While I Watched My Brother Dick's Beautiful Black Ball Roll Down Lane Number Five of Friendly Hills Lanes In Whittier California I Saw the Face of Jesus in the Shoelace of His Right Shoe and it Made Me Feel All Squishy Inside."

The album inspired a slang phrase that became very popular among preteens and teenagers, especially girls: "I'm squishy for Jesus."

Former musician and Playchild music reviewer Jon Benet McCartney wrote, "those girls are singers who open their mouths wide for God and are dancers who spread their legs for Jesus." "New Yeti Times food and entertainment columnist Chuck E. Cheetah wrote, "While this doesn't go beyond being a Christian pop album, it none-the-less has a certain je ne sais squoishiness."

Groovy Jesus Sounds 1 & 2

Cover of Volume 2 of the KGB3 album Groovy Jesus Sounds. This was the first cover to feature the girls' faces, but strangely they appeared to have been made up to look Asian.

Gorightly took a chance on the group's sophomore album, rreleased in 2004 CE, by making it a double album. It continued the first album's retro "groovy kooky Christian" theme. It featured "musical sermons" or pieces by ministers of both the Unified Catholic Church and Baptism World Alliance set to music. Featured "sermonettes" included pieces by Pope Hilde, Sister Hooter, Reverend Loveshade, Rev. Ivan Stang, and Rev. DrJon Swabey with music by various dead composers who thus wouldn't charge royalties.

Hits included Pregnant for God, Ladies Lost in Limbo Dance, Weirdness Comes from on High, Jesus was Well Hung (On the Cross), and Five Blind Men and an Elephant which was the group's first song to fully introduce the disability theme.

The double album set sold well, but ran into problems. As the Baptism World Alliance was opposed to dancing, the girl band known for dancing didn't dance on any video for a Baptist song. And the title Jesus was Well Hung upset many people who found the title inappropriate. Reviewer Sister Chaste Virginia said "Jesus wasn't, well, hung he was, well, crucified."

Gorightly decided to avoid all controversy with the third album.

Jesus is My Lover

Cover of Jesus is My Lover. While the songs were non-controversial, a Baptist minister claimed the cover bore a resemblance to a "private part of the female anatomy."

The third album was written to appeal to a primary demographic: Catholics. This traditional, conservative pop album focused on traditional Catholic values and icons. Themes and the songs about them included the love of God ("Jesus is My Lover"), saints ("Holier than Thou"), the Virgin Mary ("Knocked Up by God"), celibacy ("Date But Don't Fornicate"), not using birth control ("Unmarried Pregnant Teens for Jesus"), and communion ("Eat My Body, Drink My Blood (The Cannibalism Song))".

While the songs on the album escaped controversy, the cover unfortunately didn't. Rev. I.C. Syn said the figure of the Virgin Mary in a vertical oval "is highly suggestive of a private part of the female anatomy." While the cover image was changed to a non-controversial image of a hard wooden cross entering the dripping center of a bleeding heart, the controversy over the original cover remained.

Psychedelic Secret Agent

Extremely rare misprinted cover of KGB3's Psychedelic Secret Agent. This withdrawn front cover lists producer Adam Gorightly instead of KGB3. A album with this cover sold at auction in 2015 for $230,000.

Originally, the fourth album was planned to focus on the Baptism World Alliance as the second did on the Unified Catholic Church. But due to the controvery over the previous album, Gorightly decided to reduce the group's emphasis on "kooky kristianity." Instead the group released an album targeted to the group's many fans with disabilities.

Psychedelic Secret Agent is a theme album focused on being "differently abled." Some songs became hits including "Parafornia," allegedly about living as a paraplegic in California (the music video by Floyd Anderson features California DAP Princess Unicornia, who suffers the disability of having only one horn, as the central dancer in the video's opening). "Woman from Another Space and Time," implies that being disabled can make one feel alien. "Human Stew," which is about having lost body parts, later became the theme song for the group Cannibals for Christ.

While the first album has the greatest sales so far, this was the group's best charting album, reaching number 5 on the American charts.

Exposure

In 2015, the girls were exposed. KGB³ was discovered to be a front for band creator/manager/producer Adam Gorightly's clandestine activities and he was exposed as a triple agent. The Discordian American Princesses who supposedly formed the band were not vocally handicapped and did not perform on any of the songs. They were dancers and lip-synching cover models. Ironically the girls featured on the cover of Groovy Jesus Sounds were revealed to have been the real singers. Gorightly was uncovered as working for not only the U.S. Department of Truth, but secondly for the American Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) and thirdly for the Soviet Union's KGB MK-ULTRA Squad.