(wife and/or mother) Tag: rte-wysiwyg |
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+ | [[File:Zeus and Ganymede. Penthesilea Painter.jpg|thumb|220x220px]] |
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+ | ''"Chick" here refers to a female (it's slang for "woman") and "dick" refers to a male (it's slang for "fellow").'' |
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+ | |||
==According to classical sources== |
==According to classical sources== |
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− | ===Divine |
+ | ===Divine chicks he knocked up=== |
− | #Aege (his nurse maid) |
+ | #Aege (his nurse maid)--produced son Aegipan aka Pan |
− | #Anake/Thetis (his great aunt) |
+ | #Anake/Thetis (his great aunt)--produced three daughters/nieces, the Moirai (Fates): Atropos, Clotho, Lachesis, |
− | #[[Aphrodite]] (his daughter) |
+ | #[[Aphrodite]] (his daughter)--produced daughter/granddaughter Tyche (father might have been Hermes) |
− | #Demeter (his sister) |
+ | #Demeter (his sister)--produced daughter/niece Persephone |
− | #Dione (his wife, possibly also himself) |
+ | #Dione (his wife, possibly also himself)--produced daughter Aphrodite |
− | #Eos (his mistress, Selene's sister) |
+ | #Eos (his mistress, Selene's sister)--produced daughter Carae |
− | #[[Eris (Goddess)|Eris]] |
+ | #[[Eris (Goddess)|Eris]] (his daughter)--produced daughter/granddaughter Limos |
− | #Euroynome (his wife) |
+ | #Euroynome (his wife)--produced daughters the Graces Aglaea, Euphrosyne, Thalia |
− | #Gaia (his grandmother) |
+ | #Gaia (his grandmother)--produced son/great grandson King Manes |
− | #[[Hera]] |
+ | #[[Hera]] (his sister and wife)--produced sons/nephews and daughters/nieces Ares, Eileithyia, Eris, Hebe, Hephaestus, Angelos |
+ | #Leto (his mistress)--produced son Apollo and daughter Artemis |
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− | # |
+ | #Maia (his mistress)--produced son Hermes |
+ | #Mnemosyne (his aunt)--produced daughters/nieces Aoide, Melete, Mneme (original three muses) and Calliope, Clio, Euterpe, Erato, Melpomene, Polyhymnia, Terpsichore, Thalia, Urania (later nine muses) |
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− | #Maia (his mistress) |
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+ | #Nemesis (his cousin)--produced daughter Helen of Troy |
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− | #Mnemosyne (his aunt) |
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+ | #Persephone (his daughter)--produced daughter/granddaughter Melinoe and son/grandson Zagreus |
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− | #Nemesis (his cousin) |
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+ | #Selene (his mistress, Eos' sister)--produced daughters Ersa and Pandia, son Nemean lion |
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− | #Persephone (his daughter) |
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− | #Selene (his mistress, Eos' sister) |
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+ | #Themis (his aunt)--produced daughters/nieces Astraea, nymphs of Eridanos, Nemesis, Horae |
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− | #Themis (his aunt) |
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− | ===Semi-Divine or mortal |
+ | ===Semi-Divine or mortal chicks he knocked up=== |
#Aegina (goat nymph) |
#Aegina (goat nymph) |
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#Alcmene (wife of Amphitryon) |
#Alcmene (wife of Amphitryon) |
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#Callisto (nymph changed to a bear) |
#Callisto (nymph changed to a bear) |
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#Calyce (wife and/or mother of Aethlius) |
#Calyce (wife and/or mother of Aethlius) |
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+ | #Callirhoe (his niece) |
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+ | #Carme (Cretan spirit, daughter of Cassiopeia) |
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+ | #Cassiopeia (wife of King Phoenix) |
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+ | #Chaldene (a nymph) |
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+ | #Danaë (consort of Polydectes) |
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+ | #Dia (wife of Ixion) |
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+ | #Elara (princess, adulterous affair) |
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+ | #Electra (wife of Corythus) |
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+ | #Europa (Phoencian noble, raped by Zeus as a bull) |
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+ | #Eurymedousa (ant queen, raped by Zeus as an ant) |
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+ | #Euryodeia (immortal) |
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+ | |||
+ | ===Divine dicks=== |
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+ | #Ganymede, divine youth from Troy |
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+ | |||
+ | ==According to modern sources== |
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+ | <!-- BE VERY CAREFUL HERE. Do not libel or defame. List only those who are fictional characters or those who gave permission to be included in a list such as this, or possibly public figures who brag about having sex with so many people--including men--that they can't remember them all. --> |
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+ | :You know, back in the old days, I really had a way with the ladies. Back then, if I wanted to pick up a woman, all I had to do was approach her in my aspect as a bull or swan, and she'd be all mine, helpless to resist. The move was pure gold. It never failed—even on goddesses. |
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+ | :But these modern women, that's a whole other story. For some reason, they just don't go for it at all. |
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+ | |||
+ | :--Zeus quoted in [http://www.theonion.com/blogpost/todays-women-dont-like-it-when-you-come-to-them-as-10933 Today's Women Don't Like It When You Come To Them As A Bull Or Swan] |
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+ | #[[Goldie Bear]] |
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+ | #[[Binky the WonderSkull]] |
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+ | #Bonnie (mother of [[Reverend Loveshade]]) |
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+ | #The 1958-59 Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders |
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+ | #J. R. "Bob" Dobbs |
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+ | #[http://subgenius.wikia.com/wiki/Connie_Dobbs "Connie" Dobbs] |
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+ | #[[Discordian Scouts|Laurie Flynt]] |
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+ | #[[Discordian Scouts|Hummer Hefner]] |
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+ | #[[Pope Hildegard]] ([[Unified Catholic Church]] [[Pope|pope]]) |
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+ | #[[Alden Loveshade|Eldwin Nightowl]]'s grandmother |
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+ | #The [[Sacred Chao]] |
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+ | #[[Gypsie Skripto]] (Discordian artist and interviewer) |
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+ | #[[Miley Spears]] ([[Discordian American Princess]]) |
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+ | #Black Widow |
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+ | #[http://subgenius.wikia.com/wiki/Loveshade_X Loveshade X] aka JoX the Bobtist |
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+ | [[Category:Heavenly Bodies]] |
Latest revision as of 18:11, 14 February 2021
"Chick" here refers to a female (it's slang for "woman") and "dick" refers to a male (it's slang for "fellow").
According to classical sources[]
Divine chicks he knocked up[]
- Aege (his nurse maid)--produced son Aegipan aka Pan
- Anake/Thetis (his great aunt)--produced three daughters/nieces, the Moirai (Fates): Atropos, Clotho, Lachesis,
- Aphrodite (his daughter)--produced daughter/granddaughter Tyche (father might have been Hermes)
- Demeter (his sister)--produced daughter/niece Persephone
- Dione (his wife, possibly also himself)--produced daughter Aphrodite
- Eos (his mistress, Selene's sister)--produced daughter Carae
- Eris (his daughter)--produced daughter/granddaughter Limos
- Euroynome (his wife)--produced daughters the Graces Aglaea, Euphrosyne, Thalia
- Gaia (his grandmother)--produced son/great grandson King Manes
- Hera (his sister and wife)--produced sons/nephews and daughters/nieces Ares, Eileithyia, Eris, Hebe, Hephaestus, Angelos
- Leto (his mistress)--produced son Apollo and daughter Artemis
- Maia (his mistress)--produced son Hermes
- Mnemosyne (his aunt)--produced daughters/nieces Aoide, Melete, Mneme (original three muses) and Calliope, Clio, Euterpe, Erato, Melpomene, Polyhymnia, Terpsichore, Thalia, Urania (later nine muses)
- Nemesis (his cousin)--produced daughter Helen of Troy
- Persephone (his daughter)--produced daughter/granddaughter Melinoe and son/grandson Zagreus
- Selene (his mistress, Eos' sister)--produced daughters Ersa and Pandia, son Nemean lion
- Thalia (his granddaughter)--produced son/great-grandson Palici
- Themis (his aunt)--produced daughters/nieces Astraea, nymphs of Eridanos, Nemesis, Horae
Semi-Divine or mortal chicks he knocked up[]
- Aegina (goat nymph)
- Alcmene (wife of Amphitryon)
- Antiope (river god daughter and Zeus' rape victim)
- Anaxita (moth?)
- Asterope aka Oceanid (wife of Endymion?)
- Callisto (nymph changed to a bear)
- Calyce (wife and/or mother of Aethlius)
- Callirhoe (his niece)
- Carme (Cretan spirit, daughter of Cassiopeia)
- Cassiopeia (wife of King Phoenix)
- Chaldene (a nymph)
- Danaë (consort of Polydectes)
- Dia (wife of Ixion)
- Elara (princess, adulterous affair)
- Electra (wife of Corythus)
- Europa (Phoencian noble, raped by Zeus as a bull)
- Eurymedousa (ant queen, raped by Zeus as an ant)
- Euryodeia (immortal)
- Io (his wife sister Hera's priestess, a young cow)
Divine dicks[]
- Ganymede, divine youth from Troy
According to modern sources[]
- You know, back in the old days, I really had a way with the ladies. Back then, if I wanted to pick up a woman, all I had to do was approach her in my aspect as a bull or swan, and she'd be all mine, helpless to resist. The move was pure gold. It never failed—even on goddesses.
- But these modern women, that's a whole other story. For some reason, they just don't go for it at all.
- --Zeus quoted in Today's Women Don't Like It When You Come To Them As A Bull Or Swan
- Goldie Bear
- Binky the WonderSkull
- Bonnie (mother of Reverend Loveshade)
- The 1958-59 Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders
- J. R. "Bob" Dobbs
- "Connie" Dobbs
- Laurie Flynt
- Hummer Hefner
- Pope Hildegard (Unified Catholic Church pope)
- Eldwin Nightowl's grandmother
- The Sacred Chao
- Gypsie Skripto (Discordian artist and interviewer)
- Miley Spears (Discordian American Princess)
- Black Widow
- Loveshade X aka JoX the Bobtist