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Zeus and Ganymede

"Chick" here refers to a female (it's slang for "woman") and "dick" refers to a male (it's slang for "fellow").

According to classical sources[]

Divine chicks he knocked up[]

  1. Aege (his nurse maid)--produced son Aegipan aka Pan
  2. Anake/Thetis (his great aunt)--produced three daughters/nieces, the Moirai (Fates): Atropos, Clotho, Lachesis,
  3. Aphrodite (his daughter)--produced daughter/granddaughter Tyche (father might have been Hermes)
  4. Demeter (his sister)--produced daughter/niece Persephone
  5. Dione (his wife, possibly also himself)--produced daughter Aphrodite
  6. Eos (his mistress, Selene's sister)--produced daughter Carae
  7. Eris (his daughter)--produced daughter/granddaughter Limos
  8. Euroynome (his wife)--produced daughters the Graces Aglaea, Euphrosyne, Thalia
  9. Gaia (his grandmother)--produced son/great grandson King Manes
  10. Hera (his sister and wife)--produced sons/nephews and daughters/nieces Ares, Eileithyia, Eris, Hebe, Hephaestus, Angelos
  11. Leto (his mistress)--produced son Apollo and daughter Artemis
  12. Maia (his mistress)--produced son Hermes
  13. Mnemosyne (his aunt)--produced daughters/nieces Aoide, Melete, Mneme (original three muses) and Calliope, Clio, Euterpe, Erato, Melpomene, Polyhymnia, Terpsichore, Thalia, Urania (later nine muses)
  14. Nemesis (his cousin)--produced daughter Helen of Troy
  15. Persephone (his daughter)--produced daughter/granddaughter Melinoe and son/grandson Zagreus
  16. Selene (his mistress, Eos' sister)--produced daughters Ersa and Pandia, son Nemean lion
  17. Thalia (his granddaughter)--produced son/great-grandson Palici
  18. Themis (his aunt)--produced daughters/nieces Astraea, nymphs of Eridanos, Nemesis, Horae

Semi-Divine or mortal chicks he knocked up[]

  1. Aegina (goat nymph)
  2. Alcmene (wife of Amphitryon)
  3. Antiope (river god daughter and Zeus' rape victim)
  4. Anaxita (moth?)
  5. Asterope aka Oceanid (wife of Endymion?)
  6. Callisto (nymph changed to a bear)
  7. Calyce (wife and/or mother of Aethlius)
  8. Callirhoe (his niece)
  9. Carme (Cretan spirit, daughter of Cassiopeia)
  10. Cassiopeia (wife of King Phoenix)
  11. Chaldene (a nymph)
  12. Danaë (consort of Polydectes)
  13. Dia (wife of Ixion)
  14. Elara (princess, adulterous affair)
  15. Electra (wife of Corythus)
  16. Europa (Phoencian noble, raped by Zeus as a bull)
  17. Eurymedousa (ant queen, raped by Zeus as an ant)
  18. Euryodeia (immortal)
  19. Io (his wife sister Hera's priestess, a young cow)

Divine dicks[]

  1. Ganymede, divine youth from Troy

According to modern sources[]

You know, back in the old days, I really had a way with the ladies. Back then, if I wanted to pick up a woman, all I had to do was approach her in my aspect as a bull or swan, and she'd be all mine, helpless to resist. The move was pure gold. It never failed—even on goddesses.
But these modern women, that's a whole other story. For some reason, they just don't go for it at all.
--Zeus quoted in Today's Women Don't Like It When You Come To Them As A Bull Or Swan
  1. Goldie Bear
  2. Binky the WonderSkull
  3. Bonnie (mother of Reverend Loveshade)
  4. The 1958-59 Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders
  5. J. R. "Bob" Dobbs
  6. "Connie" Dobbs
  7. Laurie Flynt
  8. Hummer Hefner
  9. Pope Hildegard (Unified Catholic Church pope)
  10. Eldwin Nightowl's grandmother
  11. The Sacred Chao
  12. Gypsie Skripto (Discordian artist and interviewer)
  13. Miley Spears (Discordian American Princess)
  14. Black Widow
  15. Loveshade X aka JoX the Bobtist
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