Discordian Wiki
Discordian Wiki

Black and white photo of Princess Unicornia colored by Icarus 23

Princess Unicornia (in human disguise) in her second favorite place to be naked other than the bathtub, outside (painting by Gypsie Skripto censored for your protection by Wikia Staff.)

Princess Unicornia (secret identity Lorien Loveshade) is co-founder with Fairy Princess Yoshikyoko of Mythics of Harmonia; author of The Secret Diary of Lorien Loveshade; an editor of Principia Harmonia and Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia: The Tales of Shamlicht; high priestess of a Wiccan coven and Wiccan author as Artariel; a Discordian American Princess; Queen of the Cloved Lemon Kissing Game (crowned at The Grove Gathering); member of the Order of the Cloved LemonOrder of the Pineapple and Order of Shamlicht; model for superhero character Ami Robertson; published poet; slang creator; and nudist and nudist author. She is a unitaur, a centaur-like girl with a unicorn-like horn in the middle of her forehead. In her mundane identity, she is a human first-grade teacher.

Abrahamic religions

Unicornia (in Spanish, Unicornia; in Latin, Unicornia; in English, Unicornia), is also known as Saint Unicornia or the Blessed Virgin Unicornia. She is identified in the Christian Bible and Jewish Torah, (Job 39:9, Psalms 29:6, Unicornia 1-69), in Quran, in Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia, and in Principia Harmonia with Fairy Princess Yoshikyoko as the founder of the Harmonian religion and the mother of Yeezus. She is the mother, sister, wife and best friend forever of Yoshikyoko who is also a student in her second grade class.

There is significant diversity in the Unicornian doctrines attributed to her primarily by the Unified Catholic Church. The key Unicornian doctrines held primarily in Unicornicism can be briefly outlined as follows:

  • Mother of God: holds that Princess Unicornia, as mother of Yeezus is therefore Theotokos (God-bearer), or Mother of God.
  • Virgin birth of Yeezus: states that Unicornia conceived Yeezus by action of the Holy Spirit while remaining a virgin. This belief is held by those who don't understand science. By this belief, she gave birth to him at the No Name Hotel because there was no room at the Holiday Inn.
  • Dormition: commemorates Unicornia's "falling asleep" in Los Angeles in an all girls' dormitory. True believers know this had nothing to do with her getting pregnant, even though verile young men of the Eta Mu Pi Fraternity raided the dorm that same night.
  • Assumption: the doctrine which states that Unicornia was taken bodily into Heaven either at, or before, or during, her death. Adherents hold this belief in spite of the lack of any evidence, which is why it's called an "assumption."
  • Immaculate Conception: states that Unicornia herself was conceived without original sin, meaning God is not only the father of Yeezus, but her father as well. This belief is held by those who don't understand science. This belief means not only that God committed Holy Incest, but that Unicornia is also her own Grandma.
  • Perpetual Virginity: holds that Princess Unicornia remained a virgin all her life, even after the act of giving birth to Yeezus and his brothers and sisters. For those who don't believe this, see "Assumption" above.