Discordian Wiki

Some Discordian like being random while making complete nonsense of direction platypus jabberwocky cheese puff. This is for them.


Main article: Pentabarf

Do you know the muffin man? Eris is Iris but isn't. This makes total sense because I have a friend who is a Vons muffin but I am a Costco muffin. Just kidding, I'm a magical unicorn. Eris is Irish, but Greek at the same time. This is possible because she was born on a farting rainbow in Pluto in Ireland, Florida because I'm going to put a rotten watermelon in your pillow but only if Steve the Pimple says it's okay. Steve the Pimple can never say______________________________ that because I like baboons and balloons. Steve the Pimple is a perve because he       |                                                     | say Oopum Gangnamn Style. I don't like to eat cheese that much because Simon didn't say|      This                                         |. Instead Simon said that he had a crush on Ariel while Bob was saying hi. That is bad     |                                                     | because I'm up in space like an onion. CHEEZITS ARE BAD. PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE IS       |                                          Box     | INCLUDED ON THIS ARTICLE. LOOK DOWN SEVEN COMPUTERS TO SEE WHAT YOU    |                                    is              | ARE DESTINED TO BECOME LATER IN UNICORNS. Narwals scare me. I am you and you   |                                                     | are me. PIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pi equals 69 and apples because horses eat oranges       |                       - MT                         | while barfing out feet while sitting on Facebook and skinning PillowPets. Everyone you love |                                                      | will die. NO! NOT THE PILLOWPET! Now you must pee on the world because my dog said   |                                                      |  so. Dog logic is amazing and incredible. This is scientifically proven on Mars where   -------------------------------------------------------- your face lives under the sea in a pineapple. Pineapples live in Redwoods because Redwoods can go to infinity and beyond while headbutting a slightly large pancake. Do not try this at home. Viewer discretion is advised. Please contact your doctor immediently if you have any symptoms of dog, cat, mouse, platapie, giraffe, elephant, unicorn, or potato. If you begin to feel like a wooden stick typed up in a PowerPoint document while screaming "you ain't got no pancake mix" please immediently jump off a cliff into a lightbulb and get eaten by alligators while flying on a butterfly. Then turn into a T-Rex and do pushups. Then do benchpresses. Then make s'mores on a electric stove while microwaving your brain in fluffy hat at -0.0000000001 degrees centimeters. Eat more doughnuts. Please leave a message at the tone with your parents permittion while training your parrot to say "DIE, YOU CHEESY LITTLE PIECE OF POPCORN!" But, most importantly, become a grandma's cracker.


"I know they're talking nonsense," Alice thought to herself: "and it's foolish to cry about it." So she brushed away her tears, and went on as cheerfully as she could.

The Red Queen shook her head, "You may call it nonsense if you like," she said, "but I've heard nonsense, compared with which that would be as sensible as a dictionary!"

“If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn’t. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn’t be. And what it wouldn’t be, it would. You see?”

'Nonsense!' said Alice, very loudly and decidedly, and the Queen was silent.