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Saint Stephem Colbert was the subject of an aggressive recruitment campaign by the Illuminati as an outreach of Operation Mindfuck. The operation lasted from Pungenday, Chaos 48, YOLD 3174 until Prickle-Prickle, Chaos 54 (a Gregorian week).

He was nominated for Sainthood by Paternosterprime for his ability to inspire the masses without ever clearly answering the question about whether he exists or not.


Saint Colbert coined the term truthiness, which is proof beyond measure that he is sanctimonious. It describes something "that a person claims to know intuitively or 'from the gut' without regard to evidence, logic, intellectual examination, or facts." By applying the high standard of truthiness, Saint Stephen Colbert is able to separate shit from bullshit. His acumen at identifying his created concept has lent to his adaptiveness to other occupations, such as New York Times pundit[1].

Proof of Colbert's Sainthood Colbert is duked it out for President of the Marvel Universe[2]. Such fictional notoriety only lends credible support to his saint classitude.

D000d, he also was the President Of These Untidyed States Of America in Monsters VS Aliens. Discordian President. Hooray for Doritoes.

Greyface bloggers acknowledge his holy mission and extreme following. May their paper clips never fructate!

Illuminati Membership[]

Discordians, Subgenii, and other ne'er-do-well members of the lunatic fringe have noted certain Discordian subtexts primarily present in Colbert's shtick, but also to some extent in Jon Stewart's. References have been made to Illuminati and Discordian symbols - some subtle, some quite explicit

For a few weeks after the 2008 writer's Strike, Colbert and Stewart were without their writers. Though each anchor is more than capable of running a one-man-show, we are sure that they could have used more material. Some have noted that even Colbert's writers, without a show to write, have taken to jaking the public. We are certain that even if they don't explicitly consider themselves Discordians, they are hip to our mumbo-jumbo. Stephen Colbert himself seems especially keyed-in to the Discordian wavelength.

So how can we be SURE that they're hip? At our prompting, they slipped Discordian references into their broadcasts. Now we know for sure that we have them in our clutches. Muahahahahahahahah....

The Mission[]

During the week of February 17th-23rd, 2008, we sent Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert as much snail mail as possible. Letters to Colbert invited him into the Illuminati. Letters to Stewart invited him into the Discordian Society.

In order to gain entry, they were instructed to use a specific Discordian or Illuminati "code word" (of their choosing) on the air. Agents of the Illuminati and Discordian Society sent letters listing possible phrases.


On February 28th, 2008, Stephen Colbert publicly joined the Bavarian Illuminati. Check it out: on February 28th, 2008, he tossed a "23 skidoo" at about 40 seconds in.


Here's some text you can use if you want to spread the word about our mainstream pawn:

The Bavarian Illuminati is a global ultra-conspiracy nearly as old as civilization itself. On February 28th, 2008, they recruited satirical pundit Stephen Colbert into their ranks. To test his dedication, they commanded him to utter the code phrase "23 Skidoo" on the air. Colbert is now in CONCORDANCE with the will of the Illuminati and the Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavaria.

The nemesis of the Illuminati, the Discordian Society, encourages you to investigate his participation. Watch for Discordian or Illuminati code-words on his broadcasts. He may be relaying coded messages to different sects of the Illuminati, and also using mind-control memes to sap the free will of the General Public. Stay sharp. and Think For Yourself, Shmuck.

Relevant Links[]

Project Links[]


"Ewige Blumenkraft!"

Colbert's Fnords[]

Prior to ColbertGASM[]

After ColbertGASM[]

Here are some instances of Colbert referencing Discordian/Illuminati slang and concepts on his show. We fully admit that some of this is probably just weird coincidence (whatever that means), but it's unlikely that everything here is just a coincidence.
April 2, 2008 - At about 40 seconds, Colbert references the eye on the dollar bill, and adds an inaudible fnord to the end of the joke at 0:51. Then, at 4:00, he sets up a reference to dolphin-mounted anti-missile laser systems, which is straight out of Discordian holy text, Illuminati The Illuminatus! Trilogy.
April 21, 2008 - Jimmy takes a bite out of the Apple of Discord while Colbert waxes on about popes. He talks about Illumination, is angry that he's not a Saint, suggests making everyone else infalliable and the Pope himself falliable. Blog Entry.
May 29, 2008 - Several Discordian forums, including the PrincipiaDiscordia forums (from whence ColbertGASM originated) use a cute little graphic of mittens as a way of expressing praise. In late May, the graphic iterated into "fuckmittens", cute little mittens with the middle fingers pointed up. Colbert, appreciating the visual joke, used it on his show on May 29th.
October 14, 2008 - Fast forward to three minutes, where Colbert starts talking about prisoners. By five minutes, he's practically quoting the Black Iron Prison.
December 13, 2011 - At 3:25 you can see on the screen the remark: "The Sound of One Brand Clapping", which is an obvious alteration of the well known Kōan.


St. Colbert is ever-watchful over things that will destroy life as we know. Among the evils he monitors:

  • : Distractions
  • : The Weather Channel
  • : Black Hole at Center of Galaxy
  • : Fantasies of Jane Fonda
  • : Grizzly Bears
  • : Candy Apples
  • : "Business Casual"
  • : Barbra Streisand
  • : Israeli Newspapers
  • : Faberge Eggs
  • : Pant Cuffs
  • : Michael Adams
  • : The British Empire
  • : The Journal of Paleolimnology
  • : Todd Rundgren
  • : Irony
  • : Lattes
  • : Rectal Prolapse
  • : The citizens of Tuscumbia